Yesterday I published my first completed fan fic, The Love That Can Be Reckon’d. It’s Star Wars (reylo) and it’s a dark fic, mind the tags. (The story is “restricted” which means you need an account on AO3 to view it, due to the subject matter.)

This is the first time I have ever completed a story, and I’m really excited! I’ve been writing for a long time, and I get lots of ideas, but often stumble in execution and consistency. It’s a very big deal to me that I’ve finally finished a piece.

I am still working on three other stories, my two main WIPs (one Labyrinth, one Star Wars) and a Star Wars reader-insert piece for fun.

When I started to write The Love That Can Be Reckon’d, I wanted a one-shot. Just a hot scene between Ben and Rey and a taboo. I discovered early-on that, while I really enjoy reading erotica, and I have a good imagination for it, I am not gifted at writing it. Writing erotica is very difficult for me.

What I am good at is writing little scenes.

Before I could write any erotica for this idea, I had to come up with a reason that Ben and Rey would wind up in bed together, so that’s what I started with. What is a scene that could start this story?

I choose the moment Rey begins to menstruate, because that’s a really difficult time in a young girl’s life. There is so much embarrassment and confusion. I thought back to my own experience with puberty, having to figure out the whole pads and tampons thing, reading the three page instruction manual about how these products could kill you. It was a lot.

I don’t plan to write humour into my stories, it just… sort of happens. I wish I wrote in a more serious tone, but when I’m trying to put myself in Ben’s headspace, trying to imagine his feelings, the words just come out, and it’s always snarkier than I wish.

I thought of a few more scenes. Wouldn’t it be difficult for an older brother to guide his little sister through this transition phase in her life? So that led to the scene in the bathroom, and the mall, and the lingerie store, before they head home where things take a darker turn.

When I realized this could not work as a one-shot, I focused on a few scenes that would be the build-up for their coming together. This story has never been just about Ben’s perversion, or whether or not Rey shares some of the blame. This story is based around a question: how would it affect you emotionally to take that path with your own brother or sister?

I assume people who read incest fan fiction find sex scenes hot, but before I could even craft that scene, I needed to work out for myself, how would they reach that point? I learned I just can’t jump into the erotica scenes when I am writing. I need a backstory to work up to it. I need it to understand the characters I’m writing, before they take their clothes off. Maybe the next time I want to do a one-shot, I might try writing the backstory for myself, then just publishing the one erotic scene, although that feels like I’m ripping my readers off from something they would enjoy.

How do you do one-shots? I’d love to hear from you.